The quiet is the worst. That’s when her mind begins to race: lists, conversations, things she needs to do, what she wants to do, her past, her future, everything all at once.
She just it to stop. She wants to know what it’s like to be carefree. To not think and worry all the time.
If only, right?
It’s one o’clock in the morning and she still can’t sleep. Another day of exhaustion awaits. Who’ll criticize her this time; her boss, always asking if she’s okay. Her friends, jokingly asking if she partied all night. Her customers, asking if she’s feeling alright?
“I’m fine. Everything is just fine,” she’ll reply just like always. Inside though she’ll be screaming “I’M NOT OKAY!”
She’ll push through though. She’ll keep the smile plastered on her face and her head down waiting for it’ll be over for today.
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It’s now two o’clock in the morning. Sleep still alludes her. Should she get up? Should she stay in bed and hope to drift off to sleep.
Why does this keep happening? Why?
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The numbers move slowly, showing the dreaded three o'clock. This needs to stop. How can she keep going like this?
She begins to question, "do i get up and start my day or stay here?"
She has three hours left before she must get up. The sooner she gets going, the sooner she gets to climb back in bed.
But how productive is she really going to be?
Maybe she should take a mental health day. Maybe she should just stay there and let her mind and body figure out why they're out of sync.