It hit me today just how much my munchkin depends on me. I'm her world.
Part of me has known that, but it really hit me when I began talking about leaving the apartment after being cooped up for months on end and the fact that this has caused some stress accidents from her.
The first day, I was frustrated. She knows better. She even has a mat, in case of emergencies. She is getting older and some days she needs to pee more often. Okay. It was a fluke. Mess cleaned up. Puppy snuggles insue and she apologized with a hug.
Well, the next day I left it wasn't for long, but I locked the door. I came back and again another spot. What is happening? Then I noticed the tears and that broke my heart. This small little creature was confused and upset. So, again I cleaned up the mess. She apologized and I just hugged her. I told her she was a good girl and I love her more than she'll ever know, and we snuggled.
Here I am excited to be able to finally leave the apartment on my own. For her, I'm abandoning her. She doesn't understand why mom is leaving her again.
Six months, we've been inseparable. Snuggles on the couch or in bed. Karoke to Disney movies. Walks outside. She's been my shadow and my only companion for much of that time. It's been me and her. But, things are changing again and she doesn't know what it all means.
I'm not mad about the accidents. I'm not mad that she's acting out. I'm sad. I'm sad that I can't explain to her that mom needs to leave, but I'll come back soon. I'll always come back. I promise.