I sat there fuming. Here I am stuck inside and having to take care of my mom, which I know sounds heartless. But, it was my chance to make some money for college. But no. I was the younger. I still had time.
So, that summer consisted of cooking, cleaning, laundry, you know the normal chores, but there were others. You see my mom had back surgery, so there were dressings to change, appointments to get her to, and whatever else because her restrictions called for no bending, twisting, lifting anything over ten pounds. So, here I was being a caregiver while my friends were having fun and my sister was supposed to be working.
As the summer progressed, I actually began to enjoy myself. Hanging out with mom, watching soaps and other DVDs. I actually got her to watch the entire season of Gilmore Girls. It was something that only the two of us did.
By the end of summer, I knew those days were over. She was going to be able to drive herself to her appointments and take care of things until I got home from school.
I think back and I had no idea the part I played. Right now I’m recovering from back surgery. I have a husband who is doing all the chores and I greatly appreciate that. But, I don’t have me. I don't have the companionship. I don’t have a person to help if there’s an issue. I don’t have someone helping with medications. And I don’t have someone to help keep the depression at bay. You know being cooped up watching TV all day sounds amazing, not so much when you have a giant cut running down your back. So, I guess looking back I just hope I did an okay job helping here.
I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it back for your birthday. But, I think of you daily and I hope that I’m making you proud. You are such an amazing woman and I hope that I can continue to grow and gain at least a fraction of your strength. I admire you and I know I don’t say it enough, but I am lucky you’re my mom and for the life you gave me growing up. You taught me so much.
I love you!