What happened on Tuesday was very telling that this is a job and I should not expect more. If I drop dead, my job will be posted within a month, more likely within a week. I'm not special and I'm not valued. I'm here to make sure my coworkers can take PTO. It should be noted that when my coworkers take off, one person is needed to cover the majority of their jobs - Me. If I want to take off, I have to have three or four people on schedule to cover. I'm not complaining. I signed up to be the back up. That's all I was hired to be.
I take on extra tasks. I do extra jobs. I never complain because that's what you do at a job. So maybe there should have been a deeper conversation as to why the person who gets praised, who takes on tasks without a second thought, who is always willing to try and help out, who can do new jobs by following a procedure book, who generally hides emotions to appear happy go lucky for the sake of everyone else; why did she get to the point of having such a strong reaction?
There was no conversation as to what happened. It was presented as if it was my fault and my fault alone. My reaction was not the most politically correct and I see that now. I know I should have kept walking and shut the office door and just ignored it all. The week just came to this and it really is understandable.
Me having a reaction after having my boundaries violated all day was expected. Me having a reaction after having to babysit and answer questions not related to my job duties was expected. Me having a reaction after having to hear "that's not my job" every time you're out of the office was expected. Me having a reaction after listening to how awful training is was expected. Me having a reaction after being ganged up on was expected. Me having a reaction to playing more roles than normal was expected. Me having a reaction to being isolated was expected. Me having a reaction to being trapped at my desk was expected. Me having a reaction to enduring the lack of respect and entitlement was expected. Me having a reaction to training people who have no idea what their normal day to day job, much less know that their department does, was expected.
But, again, this isn't a conversation that happens. It's just the fault of the person who had the reaction after being pushed constantly to a breaking point. And I have to just be okay with that. I will continue to do my job as I always have. I just can't say I'll do it with a smile.
The events happened on Tuesday, Thursday I wrote this, and Friday I was praised for how great of an employee I am. So, that's been my week. How about yours?